Breathing Lessons

Walk The Blue Mile

Today, I took a walk...

It’s down Cayco Street. Without glancing at that exact place where it all started I was pacing fast, almost running. The nuisance utility posts standing the crowded streets were giant trees in a forest. People walking past were heavy shrubs with thorns. I almost fell down from tripping into an extruded manhole that seemed to my trap. But I was spared. If that happens, I’ll be forever stacked in darkness. In some shrouded state of mind, I was lost again. This was the second time I was hiding from my emotional stunt in that place. I won’t go there again. I still don’t know if I’m shelving everything as part of history. I’m still lost. Weak and unable to let go, I’m still keeping all the colored memories. Though in some ridiculous idea, I’ll put a concrete marker in that area that’ll read: THIS IS WHERE I FOUND MY BLESSING.

Returning home, I put on my music player to my ears to set a different feel. I haven’t changed my play list for a week now. I almost do it everyday – from heavy rock to glum classical – to set different moods for each predictable day. The songs contained songs from Willie Nelson, Faith Hill, Jack Johnson, Garth Brooks, and Keith Urban – all country tunes but not a song from Shawn Colvin. Argh, five years ago, I was happy when I heard it. That sappy moment in the car, I can hear different lyrics.

                                                                        

Today I took a walk up the street

I picked my hanky that dropped

Damped with some tears

And secret thoughts were said aloud

I watched your face in the clouds

Until the clouds had blown away

And were we ever somewhere else

Who knows, it's hard to say

But I never saw blue like that before

Across the sky

Around the world

And you've given me all you have and more

And no one else has ever shown me how

To see the world the way I see it now

Oh, I, I never saw blue like that

I can't believe a week ago I was alone,

I didn't think of you

I hadn't seen you or heard you're name

But even now,

I'm so amazed

It's like a dream,

It's like a rainbow,

It's like the rain.

And some things are the way they are

And words just can't explain

But I never saw blue like that before

Across the sky

Around the world

And you've given me all you have and more

No one else has ever shown me how

To see the world the way I see it now

Oh, I, I never saw blue like that

And it feels like now,

And it feels always,

And it feels like coming home

But, I never saw blue like that before...

Antidote for Goodbyes

Tired and derailed last night, I opened the TV and spotted on late night news. Ten senators were proclaimed winners - I don’t care about them. They’ll just sit there. Say, hello senate and goodbye promises. My head ached and my body seems lifeless. I had several questions in my mind regarding the word “goodbye.” I’ve been exhausted for three days thinking of the consequences of saying farewell. In an interesting news feature, I had to grin. I’ll put the spotlight on the graduating senators. Saying goodbye was made on a jolly mode. I may be corrected, but in an exhilarated form, I still recall the parting words the outgoing senators delivered on media.

                                                                                                   

Ralph Recto: “Honey, I’m home!”

Loi Estrada: “Erap, here I come.”

Alfredo Lim: “Criminals, cooperate or evaporate because I’m back home.”

Juan Flavier: “Honey, let’s go to bed. I’m sleepy.”

                                                                                          

On the contrary, a lot of senators had some sort of bitterness leaving. There is no such thing as a jolly goodbye. That would certainly be a case of “good riddance” if we do so. It’s always gloomy but we have to move on. Some would say excuses like writing a book, goin’ farming, practicing the stacked lawyer career in motion, or simply planning or maybe avenging for the next election in three years. I had enough laugh. It’s true. We have to think of the consequences beyond our goodbyes. I’m still thinking about it. But on an ending climax, the report asked some advice for the incoming senators. I thought, it was boring though it left the beam on my face.

Franklin Drilon: “Watch your back!”